My advocacy journey started like so many others, when I had my first child. At 20 years old, I was completely unprepared for childbirth. I thought that you went to the OB your insurance sent you to, then you go to a childbirth class offered at the hospital and then the doctor would tell you everything else you needed to know. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
When labor started, like so many anxious first-timers do, I stayed up all night, pacing the floors, trying to “keep it going”. Then I went to the hospital much too early. After 24 hours of pretty much every intervention available and cords attached to me coming from what seemed like every direction, they said my daughter was in distress, and I needed a cesarean.
After the birth, I heard things like, “Back in the day, you would have been one of those women who died in childbirth,” and “Your pelvis was just too small. The baby would have never come out”. I believed every bit of it.
That birth set the tone for my next birth, three years later. I was determined to have a vaginal birth, but everyone thought I was crazy. My nurse came into the room regularly offering me interventions I was clear I didn’t want and then proceeded to tell me that I was putting myself through this for nothing. By the time my doctor came in, it didn’t take much for him to convince me to give up. I felt I was broken.